Bannon & Zevran are Two Years Old today! Hooo! (Yeah, I know, you thought they were like 6-year-olds or something. :X ) According to my records, I published the first Bannon & Zevran chapter on July 31, 2011.
I was going to do a big retrospective blather, here. Um… here’s the thing… my Brain ran off on an extended vacation.
i was ALSO going to post the next B&Z chapter today (or friday at the latest), before letting my brain off its leash for a month-long vacation… um… hrm. not happening. sorry.
The Story So Far….
!!! BRAIN !!!
would you PLEASE sit down and Write This Chapter! tomorrow is the 2 year anniversary of B&Z, and all i have to show for it is some lame, half-assed attempt to gloss over everything! i swear, just do This One Thing, and you can go on a vacation from B&Z for the whole of august! you can wallow in arrow and torchwood all month! Just Do Eeet!!!
DON’T YOU HAVE ANY DISCIPLINE AS A WRITER, YOU GELLID MASS OF GREY GOO!?!?!??!?!?!
imma put you on a damn’ bus with pen and paper….
i’m looking at this chapter, and bannon and zevran are acting really out of character… i think my elves absconded for the august break early and left some stunt doubles to stand in for them or something… this chapter is REALLY sucking. :(
YOU DAMNED ELVES GET BACK HERE FROM TIJUANA!!!!
who said YOU could go on vacation!? and stop sticking my brain in mai-tais!
DAMMIT, **I** want a vacation, the rest of you gits get back here and get to work!
…not now, malcolm; i’m busy.
JACK!! jack, go get those damned elves and bring them back here!
Jack: ::looking bewildered:: Me? I’m not your character. I don’t even live in your brain. I’m sure, since you’ve only told me that a few hundred times.
Bloodsong: just shut up and do it!
Bloodsong: if you don’t, i’ll kill off ianto!
Jack: … ::blinks:: Erm…
Bloodsong: i mean it!!!
Jack: No no no no. Let me get this straight… You want me to use Torchwood resources… to travel to Tijuana… to go find a pair of elves with a brain in a coconut shell… who are probably lying on the beach… wearing Speedoes… oiled up with suntan lotion… um… ::totally derailed train of thought:: Wait, why am I arguing against this again??
Bloodsong: oh for gods sake!!!!
YOU’RE ALL FIRED!!!!!!!!!!
(in the continuing Search For Bloodsong’s Brain…. somewhere in a darkened nightclub basement…)
Oliver & Diggle: ::staring at malcolm like he’s grown horns or something::
Diggle: Let me get this straight… You want us to suit up, hop in your private jet, and fly to Tijuana… Where we’ll stroll along the beach looking for… ::starts counting on his fingers:: A guy who looks like you. A pair of ::here, he makes the crook-fingered ‘quotation marks’ sign:: “elves…” And a brain??? A brain on the half shell.
Oliver: Where, exactly, did this assignment come from?
Malcolm: I can’t explain it. Just… “She Who Must Be Obeyed.” Don’t even think about not doing it.
Diggle: And why not!? ::suddenly shoves a finger up his nose and starts hopping around in circles on one foot… until he crashes into a table and falls over with a mighty clatter::
Diggle: What the HELL!?!?!
Malcolm: Because stuff like that will happen. And worse! We could end up kissing or something!
Malcolm: Double-Euw! Just get your gear and meet me at the air strip in three hours. We need to find these guys and retrieve the brain at all costs. The other three we need to tie up and bring here, as well. We can’t kill anyone, except the guy who looks like me, in which case we’re supposed to tie up his corpse and bring it.
Malcolm: I don’t know!!!
Oliver: Hang on one second. I’m still in charge here. If we’re going to be chasing down these guys on a beach in Tijuana, we need to blend in. So forget the hot and sweaty leather gear. We should bring board shorts.
::a feeling of impending doom descends upon the scene::
yeah, that’s the last i’ll see of any of my characters all month.
anyway… i was going to celebrate the anniversary with funnel cakes! yummah! um… except… well, it turns out you can’t really fake funnel cakes by making up something with pancake mix…. :/
so… it’s not much of a celebration. but hey! last year, i totally didn’t notice i had been publishing for a whole year! i didn’t realize until i looked 6 months later. :X
yes, hurrah. go team.