Dragon Age: Torchwood News

Released Today: Male Slash Icons. Jack Harkness & Zevran Arainai. Or should I have called them “Bastions of Bisexuality”? Oh well, I like Male Slash Icons better. :X

Released Earlier This Week: Wild Wild Torchwood. A short clip from the Dragon Age: Torchwood ‘verse.


Coming Soon: “Things You Should Never Say to Your Boss When You Work for Torchwood.” Um, I think that’s the title. Well, something like that… Soon as I finish the last part, which is something along the lines of “Things the Boss of Torchwood Should Never Say to an Elf that Hates Him”… no, that can’t be right… I’ll think of something. But, considering my track record with titles… don’t hold your breath. :X

Dragon Age: Torchwood News

A sneak preview DA:TW Clip has been published! “Wild, Wild Torchwood” may have absolutely nothing to do with the canon story, but it is a heck of a lot of fun!

BONUS for the B&Z forum followers! The Dragon Age: Torchwood section of the forum just went live, and besides the first clip, it also includes a handy Episode Guide.

FFNet link
B&Z Forum link

Coming up later this week… um, this weekend? Sometime… hopefully still in August… Will be another preview piccie. Oh, this is gonna be gooooood! Stay tuned!

Work Last Week DATW-11w


So last week marked 11 weeks until Dragon Age: Torchwood comes out. For those keeping score, Episode 1 is coming along. Slowly, but that’s faster than it was doing. The whole thing is like one big mudball that part fell off of. So I’m trying to slap pieces into shape and glue them on the main ball. It’s no longer hopeless, just messy.

I have to say, I’m very pleased with how the episode is turning out. Of the 2.8 chapters I have done, I’m enjoying reading them over. So, hey, my #1 fan is happy, at least. :X


I have made ZERO progress on Captain Jack’s head. I’ve made some sort of NEGATIVE progress on getting the Poser head into 3D Coat to work on it. Ugh. Don’t ask. Since I now want to do a few Malcolm Merlyn artworks, I really don’t care any more about making the morphs for the Poser head. If I could just import the head I have and sculpt it the way I want it, then slap the static model on….! I could stand to do that! Grr.


My Brain took of on vacation with my two elves. They had better be back in September…. As of this point, I have no idea what they’re doing. Or what will be going on with B&Z. Don’t panic, it’s NOT abandoned!

I just have to figure out why my Brain doesn’t like this Spoiled Princess chapter. Or, if worse comes to worst, finish the chapter without my Brain’s help.


Meanwhile, I’m working on my G&B chapters… since I totally ran out of a write-ahead buffer, and the current chapters are… well, not written yet. :X Actually, I think the third chapter is written. 1, 2, 4, and any other parts that it needs aren’t done yet. At least I know what is SUPPOSED to happen. As opposed to two weeks ago where I didn’t….

Once I get past this mission…. There’s a couple chapters that are finished. There are a couple that aren’t written, but I know what’s going on in them. And then there is going to be a final mission that will end the Arrow: Green & Black series.

Now, that doesn’t mean G&B is done! Noooooo. I should be so lucky. First, there is a standalone mission. Which I know how the middle goes, but nothing else. Especially since my Brain left it hanging with a conundrum in the middle, without telling me how to solve it! Grr!

If the new season of Arrow starts, then I’ll probably be innundated with ideas of how the G&B team could have handled the situations in those episodes differently. (Really need to finish before then… Brain is very dangerous.)

Then there will be another series of G&B, which will be more like the final season. There will be big changes in the characters, more drama, and a final resolution.


Oh, I also worked on the Hitchhikers’ Guide to Dragon Age. (Renamed to …Origins, because I totally didn’t do Awakenings, or anything to do with 2.) I have the main characters and major characters, photos and write-ups, done. Those, I think are the big things, the who’s who. I want to do some of the more minor characters.

After that, the rest is just copying and pasting other basic info from my notes. So, fingers crossed, I can finish this sucker by the end of the month.

I wanted to release another Dragon Age: Torchwood related image this month, but… Yeah, see above about Jack’s head. :(


Ten weeks left til DA:TW 1.1! And… two or three weeks til another B&Z chapter! We’ll see if I can reduce the G&B workload so I can get back to them.


The Continuing Quest for Bloodsong’s Brain

(absolutely nothing NSFW happens in this post. or happened. or might happen. no, really. there’s just torchwood shenanigans involving jack harkness and my two elves. right. don’t let the boss see it.)

(The next morni… aftern… day. The next day.)

Oliver awoke to a pounding, screaming, excruciating headache that felt like a heavy metal concert going on inside his skull. He groaned and opened his eyes, carefully. He was in a bed, in a shaded room, and it was summery-hot. There was an arm across his chest. He crossed his eyes trying to focus on it. Rich, dark skin, well-muscled…. “Diggle!” Oliver shoved the arm off.

Next to him, Diggle groaned in protest and struggled to sit up. “Wha… What happened?”

“I don’t know. I… I can’t remember.” Oliver sat up and turned to find himself hemmed in on the other side by another body, lying face-down on its pillow, dark hair splayed in a messy fan. He flinched. “Malcolm? Malcolm! Wake up!” He prodded the older man in the ribs, but the only response he got was a bear-like growl as Merlyn put the pillow over his head.

“Are you sure that’s not the other guy? That guy with the used-car salesman smile?” Diggle asked.

Oliver frowned and peered at the body again. He tentatively prodded at one of the scars. Yep, it was real. “No, it’s Malcolm.” He frowned and looked around the room, but it was completely generic, giving him no clue to anything. “Where are we?”

“Never mind where are we,” Diggle said in sudden panic. “Where’s our clothes!?”


Diggle: ::after finishing reconnaissance:: Okay, they cleaned us out. All I could find were three pairs of sunglasses, and three pairs of Speedoes. ::holds up the red, black, and blue scraps of fabric::

Malcolm: ::grabs the blue one!::

Diggle: Hey! ::tosses the black one to Oliver::

Oliver: Don’t I get to pick?

Malcolm: You’re too slow. All right, what do we remember?

Oliver: You sent us on some wild brain chase to Tijuana!

Diggle: Where we met Captain Used Cars and his WAY too friendly buddies!

Malcolm: Then we got drunk and… um…?

Oliver: Totally did not have sex with any of them.

Diggle & Malcolm: Right!

Oliver: Well, we’ll have to go out onto the beach and find them. And hopefully our stuff. ::heads for the door… stops when he realizes they’re not following him:: What?

Diggle: You’re going out in public like that?

Oliver: It’s a beach, I’m sure it’s fine. Unless you have a better idea? And no, I’m NOT going alone!

Diggle: ::grumbles and follows:: Man, I’m getting a wedgie already…!

(somewhere on the beach, our intrepid heroes find some elves, a used car doppleganger, and a sloshed brain.)

Zevran: Ravin, Ravin… the Raven.

Rav: My name is Raviathan.

Zevran: Even better! Raviathan, the Leviathan! The mighty beast from the depths below….

Bannon: ::smacks him!::

Zevran: Ow! What!?

Bannon: I think you’ve had enough of him.

Zevran: You’re not usually the jealous type. Oh, look! Hola, amigoes! ::waves to Oliver and his crew::

Jack: ::looks over, peering over his sunglasses:: Hey, guys! Looking good!

Oliver: All right, what the hell happened last night? And where’s our stuff!?

Jack: Don’t worry, everything was completely consentual. ::leer::

Diggle: Was that before or after you roofied us!?

Bannon: We just stole your clothes.

Jack: Hey, it was just a bit of a joke. Relax, all your stuff is here, safe and sound.

Oliver: ::bristles:: You know, Jack, my eyes are up here!

Jack: ::tears his eyes off Oliver’s Speedoes:: Uh, right! Anyway, I explained everything to you last night. ::looks at each of them (in the eye):: You didn’t handle it very well, so we had to retcon you.

Diggle: What’s retcon?

Bannon: Amnesia pills.

Diggle: You DID drug us!

Jack: I assure you, it was for your own good.

Malcolm: We want our clothes back, NOW.

Zevran: ::sigh::

Oliver: And we’ll be taking that brain with us.

Jack: ::looks at his elven cohorts:: I’m sorry, but we can’t let you do that.

Oliver: Why not?

Jack: ::gets up and goes over to the brain, which is listing to port in its coconut shell:: This, gentlemen, is the key to happiness. ::skritchie-tickles the brain’s tummy with one finger:: As long as this little guy is happily sloshed and on a sugar high, life is all warm summer beaches and hot summer nights.

Bloodsong’s Brain: ::happily:: leleleleleleleleeee!

Jack: ::gives the trio a warning glance:: Once it goes back to normal, that all ends. Life will be full of pain, despair, hardship….

Malcolm: You can’t spend your entire life on a beach.

Jack: No. No, that’s true. ::sadly::

Bloodsong’s Brain: ::rolls over and nuzzle’s Jack’s hand::

Jack: ::rubs the brain between its eyes::

Bloodsong’s Brain: ::sticks out tongue and trills happily:: blrlrlrlrlrlrlrlrlrlrlrrrrr!

Bannon: It’s just for a couple of weeks. ::makes big, sad elf eyes:: Come on guys, what’s a few weeks? Don’t we deserve to enjoy life once in a while? To stop running, and fighting? Have a little happiness?

Oliver, Diggle, Malcolm: ::look tempted::

Jack: I can guarantee that when you go back home, everything will be just as you left it.

Diggle: I don’t see how–

Jack: Look, if you want to go back, then go back. But leave the brain here.

Oliver: Well…. I guess we can hang out a few days?

Zevran: Exellent choice! There is about to be a volleyball competition, right here on the beach! ::turns to the brain:: Am I right, amigo?

Bloodsong’s Brain: ::waves a flipper, and a bunch of bikini-clad babes start setting up for volleyball::

Zevran: YES!

Jack: Oh, and a wet T-shirt contest!

Bannon: What’s a wet T-shirt contest?

Jack: Believe me, no visit to planet Earth is complete until you’ve seen one! ::looks hopefully at the brain::

Bloodsong’s Brain: fwoopy! brrrrzzzzt!

Zevran: Oh look, there’s the sign now… Wait… “Wet Boxer Contest”???

Jack: ::to the brain:: Oh, YOU DIDN’T!?!?

Bloodsong’s Brain: :P”””””!

Jack: ::starts to yell, then thinks a second….:: Wait… Okay. This can work.

Oliver: We are so totally not going there.

Jack: Fine. And your stuff is there in the tent. You guys! ::to the elves:: Let’s go enter a contest. ::grin!::

Diggle: And we can sit here and watch the volleyball. ::comandeers one of the vacated beach chairs::

Oliver: Diggle!

Diggle: What!?!? It’s a vacation, man!

(a little while later….)

Bannon & Zevran: ::all wet and shivering in their boxers::

Zevran: I do not see how this is attractive to the ladies!

Jack: What did you guys do, jump in the ocean?

Bannon: ::nod::

Jack: Well, see, the trick is to use warm water. ::grins and strides onto the stage, waving at the audience, basking in the cheers and catcalls::

Bannon & Zevran: ::look at each other::

Bannon: I hate that shem.


The Search for Bloodsong’s Brain

On a Beach somewhere in Tijuana

Jack: Well, hello handsome! ::beam!::

Malcolm: Uh, who are you?

Jack: I’m Captain Jack Harkness. ::enfolds his hand in a warm, firm grip:: I must say, this is a real fantasy come true.

Bannon: ::groan!:: Jack, you can’t cross your own timeline to have sex with yourself!

Malcolm: What!?

Jack: It’s not me! He has scars.

Zevran: He’s way more built than you, too.

Jack: Hey!

Malcolm: ::draws back an folds his arms, trying to hide the scars::

Zevran: Scars are very sexy. Oooh, speaking of which! ::starts drooling over Oliver:: Look at this fellow!

Bannon: Bah, he’s too scruffy.

Oliver: Who are you people!?

Jack: Like I said, I’m Jack Harkness of Torchwood. I’m sure you’ve never heard of it. These are my associates, Zevran, and the cranky brunette is Bannon. And who are you handsome devils? ::leers at Malcolm some more::

Oliver: I’m Oliver. This is John and Malcolm. ::edges away from Zevran:: Look, we don’t want any trouble. We’re looking for a brain…?

Bannon: Oh, it’s over there. ::gestures to a nearby table with an oversized coconut shell containing a grey brain-like mass that has a blue paper umbrella sticking out of it. the brain appears to be rocking side to side, waving vestigal flippers, as it trills a tune and blows bubbles::


Oliver, Diggle, Malcolm: ::stare!::

Diggle: Okay, so this is Malcolm’s doppleganger, you guys… are you elves?

Zevran: Si!

Bannon & Zevran: ::show off their ears::

Diggle: Right, and that’s a brain that has — correct me if I’m wrong — been pickled in a mai tai.

Jack: Well, no, not a mai tai. We keep it topped up. It’s had — oh, at least 7 or 8 dozen? ::checks with the elves::

Bannon: At least.

Zevran: Today.

Diggle: I… I… see it. I still don’t believe it. ::looks for a place to sit down::

Malcolm: Look, we’re supposed to deliver this… brain…

Bloodsong’s Brain: fweeble wheee!

Malcolm: Back to Starling City. Are you going to hand it over or not?

Bannon: Did a large tiger send you?

Malcolm: Uh, no.

Zevran: We are not going back!

Jack: Fellas, fellas…! There’s no need for any animosity. Come have a drink on us, and I’ll explain everything! ::smiles::


Two Hours Later….

Bannon: ::leaning drunkently on Malcolm:: You know, that’s what happen, to my mom. Shss, killt for no reason, man! I was like nine.

Malcolm: ::leaning drunkenly on Bannon:: Yoosh shud totally meet my son. Hez was eight!

Bannon: Izze cute?

Malcolm: Errrm… ::wrinkles brow trying to figure that one out:: Hez… yeah, hez good lookin. ‘Zgot my eyes.

Bannon: Youz verry pretty eyez. ::waves a finger vaguely::

Malcolm: Youz iz pretty, too. ::stares at Bannon cross-eyed for a minute::

Bannon: ::chungs his drink:: Youz ever finda guy? What did it?

Malcolm: No. Sfuggin cops.

Bannon: Yoosh’d kill em all. That’ll teach ’em.

Malcolm: Tha’z zakly what I said! I’m I’m… I’mza kill em all, an sfoosh! ::flings out an arm, accidentally knocking several empty bottles off the table:: Juz like that! ::points at the fallen bottles:: Sfoosh! All gone! An build a better place.

Bannon: Thassa good idea!

Malcolm: Youz defnally needa meet Tommy. Hez doezn’t get it. I juss… can’t splain….


Oliver: ::looking blearily at Zevran:: I feel ya, man. Like, nobody should hafta go through that, ya know? ::tips his bottle::

Zevran: Ah! It haz make me shtronger!

Oliver: But… who getz to decide? You dint say, ‘I wanna be stronger!’ It just happen to you. Juss like me. An I woulda liked ta have been asked, ya know? I coulda been prepared. Nooo, I was goin’ along juss fine… then, pffthpht!

Zevran: You can’t let it rule your life. ::tosses back a drink:: You hafta live life to its fullersted. An… an… jus be happy.

Oliver: Zacktly! I got to get my woman….

Zevran: ::leaning on Oliver’s arm:: Who needs women? ::waggles brows::

Oliver: ::frowns:: I like women.

Zevran: I like women, too! Do you see any here?

Oliver: ::peers around blearily:: Um….

Zevran: My point essactly!

Oliver: No, no, I mean… I have a girlfren!

Zevran: You didn’t bring her with you?

Oliver: No, she doesn’t know… Bout… this stuff… an stuff.

Zevran: Tsk tsk tsk…. ::shakes head sadly:: That is no way to treat a relashunship!


Diggle & Jack: ::laughing drunkenly::

Jack: No, seriously?

Diggle: I’m serious! He did it again, just three days later!

Jack: ::trying to chug a whole bottle of tequila, nearly chokes from laughing::

Diggle: Some guys, I swear, do not belong in the armed forces!

Jack: You’re not gonna believe this… but the exact same thing happend to me — in World War One and World War Two!

Diggle: ::frowns suspiciously:: You can’t be in World War One or Two! You’re barely older than me.

Jack: Hah! You’d be surprised. ::polishes off the tequila, and the worm:: I waz in World War Two, twice!

Diggle: ::goggles:: How can you do that? You like slammed five bottles of that stuff, you ought to be dead.

Jack: ::laughs:: Izza metabolism thing. Can’t stay drunk verra long.

Diggle: No?

Jack: Don’ stay dead verra long, either. ::giggles::

Diggle: You’re one strange guy, Jack. ::drinks his drink at a more sedate pace::

Jack: You have NO idea! I tell you a buncha things you’ll never believe….!