Bannon & Zevran

Bannon & Zevran: Partners in Crime
Bannon is my city elf from Dragon Age Origins.  He’s nothing special really, just a conniving thief who ends up being stuck saving the world.  However, drop him in the mix with a slick assassin and you have the most annoying rogue duo of all time.  They can be hilarious, but there is a lot of depth and drama to their story.  I enjoy it, and I hope you do too.
Zevran is the creation of BioWare, as many of you know.  This particular Zevran is my own interpretation of the character, which may or may not fit with your idea if canon, so be warned.  If you notice any inconsistencies with Zevran’s background, please pay attention to whether they are inside quotes or not.  It is my personal opinion that Zevran BSes — a lot — so there will be inconsistencies in the various things he says, and I have done this on purpose.
I have also “made up crap” about Thedas, elves, Ferelden, Antiva, the Crows, etc; wherever canon or known game lore didn’t fill in all the details.  Consider it Creative License.  (Since it is :X )  Also, I spell Vaughan and Cyrion’s names differently.  I like them better that way.     Content Warnings:  For the record, both Bannon and Zevran are bisexual, and the story will contain homoeroticism as well as other themes about sexual attitudes.  This work should be considered mature, but is not “adult” nor pornographic in nature, nor is it “slash” (at least, in my understanding of the term).  There will be cursing and bad words.  Not to mention the violence.  And the unending innuendoes that one can’t escape when working with Zevran.Fan-Fic Disclaimer:  The settings, lore, history, and major characters are creations of David Gaider and BioWare.  These writings (and videos, etc) are works of fan-fiction; by a fan, for the fans; for entertainment purposes only, and no infringement is intended.

If you prefer a forum format to blog format, the story is being posted simultaneously here.
If you prefer, the story is also being posted here.
(I recommend the forum, personally.)
NOTICE: I am no longer continuing the story here on WordPress. Please use the above links for the latest chapters.

The Story

Cast of Characters


The Cutting
Room Floor




Book I:  Origins
Introduction 1: Before the Storm
2: The Uninvited Guest 3: Bloody Path of Retribution
4: Murderous Rage 5: The Road to Ostagar
The Grey Wardens
1: Ostagar 2: The Recruits and the Carpenter
3: An Early Start 4: The Mission
5: The Wilds — Darkspawn 6: The Witch of the Wilds
7: The Joining 8: The Broken Tower
9: The Death of the Grey Wardens 10: The Wilderness (part 1)
11: The Wilderness (part 2) 12: Fugitives
13: The Road to Hell 14: Lothering Night
15: Lothering, Day (part 1) 16: Lothering, Day (part 2)
17: In the Lion’s Den 18: On the Road
A Wolf in the Fold
1: The Assassin 2: Nightmares
3: The Assassin on the Trail 4: Alistair’s Confession
5: The Curse of Redcliffe 6: Redcliffe Tavern
7: Night Battle 8: Redcliffe Castle
9: The Demon of Redcliffe 10: The Ambush
11: Zevran’s First Night 12: Of Demons and Templars, Of Bards and Assassins
13: Burdens 14: Two Swords
15: The Assassin’s Way 16: The Road to Lake Town
17: Lake Town 18: Howe’s Lament
19: The Broken Circle 20: Into the Tower
21: The Circle Tower 22: Happily Ever After
23: The Templar’s Dream 24: The Assassin’s Dream
25: The Mage’s Dream 26: The Bard’s Dream
27: Sloth’s Nightmare 28: Closing the Circle
29: Afterwords
Partners in Crime
1: The Candy Incident 2: On the North Road
3: Denerim 4: Regression
5: The Spoiled Princess 6: In the Bannorn
7: Return to Denerim Part 1 8: Return to Denerim Part 2
9: Return to Denerim Part 3 10: Soldier’s Peak, Part 1


Bannon & Zevran Tribute Warning:  violence, sexual themes, homophobes should not viewTypical Gameplay and Cutscene video commemorating the two elves’ partnership. Mixed-Up Fairy Tales
Alistair: The Lion King
Zevran is just messing around, but Bannon would so say exactly that!
Bitches Love ‘Em Warning: Explicit lyrics,  contains a gratuitous Zevran pin-up,  homophobes should not viewMore violent dual-rogue action.  Includes a few custom clips — my first forays into cutscene editing in the toolset. Mixed-Up Fairy Tales
Howe Hires Zevran
Totally non-canon, because it didn’t happen this way of course.  But hey, it features the inn so filthy, even the bedbugs had fleas!  And Zevran saying “You have engaged my valuable services.”  I love when he says that!  Plus, at no extra cost:  the ugly step-sister, and an actual outtake!
Headgames Warning:  sexual themes, homophobes should not viewMy first full machinima for an entire music video. Not exactly canon, but captures the trials and tribulations of a frustrating relationship. It Takes a Thief This really happened in my game, too.  It didn’t have voice-over and cinematics like this, but this is exactly how it went down! My first full machinima with the cutscene editor.
Zevran & Rinna Vignette Warning: contains violence, sexual content, and might make you cry.This came out exceedingly well, although there are a couple of glitches that still make me grind my teeth.  The scenes were created for TW to make a video. I strung them together and mixed some music from the Dragon Age music files. Zevran: Speed Drunk Okay, this really happened in my game!  Zevran and his Antivan Brandy.
Why They were Late
to the Landsmeet
Zevran wanted to make a video of dancing demonesses, but got sidetracked by seeing how he looks with a guitar. Playing around and…. THIS happened. Completely non-canon, except Wynne does have a line in the story that is very similar to Morrigan’s comment.


Bannon & Zevran messing around in my head (or more likely TW’s head; as this is her fault for bringing them there), and dealing with that…. thing, what’s it called?  Oh, right, the “real” world.

This section is over on the forum.


Books Bannon & Zevran Have Read:

Now you may be wondering how the dip a fantasy character can be reading real books.  Well, they’re fantasy books.  And really, what’s in a fantasy book that people in a fantasy world couldn’t think up?  They can imagine different worlds, different deities, different types of magic, couldn’t they?  So yeah, my fantasy characters tend to read them.  Heck, Anborn and Valken played parts in a production of “The Princess Bride” play when they were teens.  :P

Mistmantle: Urchin and the Raven Wars  by M.I. Mcallister

Wynne reads them this one when they won’t stop
pestering her for stories, and better ones than Grey Wardens dying to
save the world.  Their take:  squirrels, having pointy ears
and being very nimble and dexterous, are definitely elves.  And they rule!
The Last Herald Mage Trilogy  by Mercedes Lackey
Wynne gives them these as a gift.  They help Bannon reconcile with his father (somewhat).  Also, Ash is enamored first by the songs of Vanyel, and then by the story when he gets older.  (Who is Ash?  Got to wait a good long while to find that out… :X )   Vanyel Ashkevron is a powerful mage
and herald who has a difficult time being small and lithe among a bunch of big bulky brothers and father.  Plus he has to deal with being shay’a’chern (homosexual), and losing his soulmate at a young age.

The Nightrunner Series  by Lynn Flewelling
Especially Book 4.  (But the library system around here doesn’t have Book 3, so they missed out on that one :/ )  Seregil and Alec are a couple of spies, thieves, rogues, and all-around good guys.  And (eventually) lovers.
Note: Just for the record, my brain plotted out Bannon & Zevran’s story up through 7 years after Origins before I ever read Book 4.  Any similarities between the two stories are entirely coincidental.

The Night Angel Trilogy  by Brent Weeks
Bannon thought this was going to be a swash-buckling, over-the-top, madcap adventure about an elite assassin, and Zevran thought he was going to be pointing out all the places where the whole thing was crap.  However it was very, very different.  This is a hardcore story; it is not pretty, it isn’t very heroic, and love doesn’t conquer a damned thing.  It’s about a young boy growing up in a street gang, and determined to escape that grind by becoming an assassin.  Actually, the assassin’s in the story have magical powers and are called wetboys (don’t look at me, I
didn’t make it up), but you get the idea.  There’s also a goody-goody blond guy who is in line for the throne — what happens to him is interesting.
The Xena Scrolls  by Gabrielle

These are some cheap rag productions (rather like penny dreadfuls) that Zevran is fond of.  Bannon thinks they’re tripe.  So okay, technically he doesn’t read them.

Shows Bannon & Zevran Have Seen:

Don’t look at me like that!  Val Royeaux is a very high-class town and has a lively theatre district.  And… a lot of Disney movies have been turned into live stage productions.  See, this is not too far-fetched!

Aladdin  (Disney version)
A thieving street-rat who rolls into town, woos the princess, and saves the nation?  Yeah, that’s them.  Why the Disney version?  See their song, below.  :X
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Oh, let’s see, more thieving rogues and gypsies putting it over on ‘the man.’  Mm hm.  This is probably only really included so I can do a scene complaining about Esmerelda ending up with Feeble… Doofus… whatever his name is.

Bannon & Zevran’s Songs

Bannon & Zevran’s Theme Song
The one that makes Alistair rip out his hair and go, “Maker’s Mercy, not that song again!!!”

Prince Ali   (from Aladdin)

(Note: they don’t exactly get all the words quite right, and they ad lib a lot.  I’m not responsible for that!)
Make way… for Prince Ali.

Say Hey!  it’s Princ Ali.

Hey, clear the way in the old bazaar;

Hey you, coming through, it’s a bright new star;

Oh come be the first on your block to meet his eye….

Make way, here he comes!

Ring bells, bang the drums!

Oh, you’re gonna love this guy!

Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali Ababwah;

Genuflect, show some respect, down on your knees!

Now try your best to stay calm;

Brush up on your Sunday salaam;

Then come and meet his spectacular coterie!

Prince Ali, sexy is he, Ali Ababwah;

Long* as ten regular shems, check him and see!

(* I’m pretty sure he meant to say “strong.”  Really.)

He defeats the galloping hordes!

A hundred darkspawn with swords!

Who slayed the archdemon my lords?

Why, Prince Ali!
Prince Ali, handsome is he, Ali Ababwah!

That physique!  How can I speak?  Weak at the knees…

Well, get on out in the square;

Adjust your veil and prepare;

To gawk and goggle and stare at Prince Ali!

He’s got nintey-five white Persian monkeys,

And to view them, he charges no fee…

He’s got slaves, he’s got servants and flunkies

–All to work for him–

They bow to his whim, while serving him,

They’re just lousy with loyalty!

To Ali….  To Ali….

Ali, fabulous he, Ali Ababwah;

Heard your princess was a sight lovely to see.

And that, good people, is why;

He got dolled up and dropped by,


um, all that stuff.
(or just keep doing the verses they know best over and over ad nauseum.  or until passing out drunk.)

A Professional Rogue  (aka “Professional Pirate” from Muppet Treasure Island)

When I was just a lad

Looking for my true vocation;

My mother said, “Now son, this choice deserves deliberation.

“Though you could be a Templar,

“Or perhaps a financeer;

“My boy, why not consider a more challenging career?”

(chorus 1)

Yay-ho-ho!  You’ll loot the finest stores!

And you’ll keep your mind and body sharp

By lurking out of doors.

True friendship and adventure are what we can’t live without!

And when you’re a professional ro-ogue….

That’s what the job’s about!
Now take ser Robyn Hood;

The nobles all despise him.

But to the peasants, he’s a hero, and they idolize him!

It’s how you look at burglars

That makes them bad — or good!

And I see us as members of a noble brotherhood!

(chorus 2)

Oh, yay-ho-ho!  We’re hon-or-able men!

And before we lose our tempers, we will always count to ten!

On occasion there may be someone

You have to Execute!

But when you’re a professional ro-ogue…

You don’t have to wear a suit!

Of armor.

Some say that rogues, they steal

And should be feared and hated.

I say we’re victims of bad press, it’s all exaggerated!

We’d *never* stab you in the back!

We’d never lie — or cheat!

We’re just about the nicest guys you’d ever want to meet!

(chorus 3)

Oh, yay-ho-ho!  It’s one and all for one!

And we’ll share and share-alike with you, and love you like a son!

True gentlemen of fortune,

That’s what we’re proud to be!

And when you’re a professional ro-ogue….

You’ll be honest, brave, and free!

The soul of decency!

You’ll be loyal and fair and on the square

And most impor-tant-ly–

When you’re a professional ro-ogue….

You’re always in the Best Of Com-panyyyyyyy!

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